well though i can't say life has been great here i can say that i am stable. that is more than i could say for myself before i left. jonathan since it has come and passed just accept it...i know that what i say here does not help at all but just hope that you know that there are pp who would be happy if you are okay, and that everything happens for a reason, take it as part of God's plan to make you grow to the person that you are meant to be.